“I’m gonna puke. I’m gonna puke,” chanted over and over in my head. I also said it out loud over and over to Luke and may have even texted it several times to a few friends and family members.
After our 45 minute drive to the town they lived, we continued to drive. We drove by the house one time and then drove all over the tiny town, because, we were, of course, ridiculously early. Luke and I thought it was a good idea to orient ourselves to the town we would be spending lots of time in, and we didn’t think we were allowed to show up early. However, the first thing the social worker said to us as we pulled up right behind her right at 10:00AM on the dot was, “Oh you all are just getting here? Usually the adoptive parents can’t handle the wait and are already inside playing with the kids when I show up”. In my head I screamed, “We could have done that?!
Walking into the house, everything happened in slow-motion. Two of our girls ran to us, excited to meet us, and ready to play. They had already seen a video and pictures of Luke and me. We made a video of our home, their future rooms, and our dogs so they would know what to expect. They recognized us immediately. The social worker had introduced us, in the video, as their new mommy and daddy. So that is what they shouted at us as we walked in the door. It was shocking, overwhelming, and amazing all at the same time. I remember so vividly, Luke and I looking at each other in ecstatic amazement at being called those named we’d longed to hear. We picked them up and hugged them, letting them then drag us wherever they wanted.
Sitting quietly on the couch, sat the child I was so afraid wouldn’t like me. I slowly walked over and asked if I could sit next to her. Surprisingly she said yes. I carefully sat next to her, not wanting to scare her away. In next moment, time stopped, and that tiny little girl scooted right beside me, cuddling up against me.
This was the same little girl that didn’t even look at people she’d known for a long time and absolutely didn’t let people touch her. I very clearly felt all the tension and anxiety ooze right out of the bottom of my feet, and I heard God say in the most gentle and loving way, He planned this so please stop worrying. Hours flew by as we played with the girls. The social worker was shocked and amazed. Right then and there our 4 week plan turned into a 3 week plan.
At naptime it was time to part with the girls, but their amazing foster family invited us back over after the girls woke up. They were so welcoming and helpful. The next day, we got to pick up the girls and take them on our first unsupervised outing to breakfast, the park, and lunch. Then, we sadly packed up the car and headed back home leaving our sweet girls behind. Our hearts were so filled with joy, but now three little pieces were missing.