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Adoption Blog

Following the Call #15 – Placement

September 2nd was the move in date for our daughters! Finally, after almost two months from finding out about them, they were home. Our social worker came over, and we filled out mounds of paperwork making it all official and legal.

The most important papers I remember signing were the actual placement papers. Each child had a set, and I carried it around with me practically everywhere. Those papers told the world, doctors, dentist, schools, and everyone else that these were our girls!

Less than two weeks after the girls arrived, their birth parents’ rights were terminated. This can vary in every foster/adoption situation from days to years. Since we only signed up for children ready or close to ready for adoption, the wait was much shorter than a child coming newly into the foster care system. Yet even in foster/adoption placements that doesn

Our oldest turned five a few days later, so we got to throw our first birthday party as parents. Let’s just say, I was a BASKET CASE.  She loved her Elsa party.

The next day, we drove the girls back up north to have their final visits with their birth family. Two grandparents showed up to the visit. It was a frightening ordeal for everyone involved. I was terrified, not knowing what to expect and not knowing how everyone would react. It was the most difficult thing ever for the grandparents, not knowing if they would ever see their grandchildren again. I took pictures of the girls for the grandparents to have, just in case. At that time we didn’t know what our relationship.

The girls’ reactions were shocking. It was like I had three completely different children. It was not a positive change. Throw in a round-trip 7-8 hours in the car… it was a very rough day, to say the least.

We were also blessed with another amazing adoption shower! It was so sweet to have a shower with everyone able to see the adorable faces of our girls. The women in the Black family spoiled us!

      

Placement and those first few months are full of the highest highs and some low lows. It is hard on everyone: the girls, Luke and I, and our families. One of the hardest things for us was navigating how to become our own family, while including our closest friends and family.

Everyone was so happy for us and excited to meet and love on the girls. The girls, however, didn’t react well to meeting new people because they, of course, needed time to get to know us and adjust. We jumped in too quickly and had to back pedal a lot. Our families were confused and a little hurt. Finally, we did what we should have done from the beginning, we wrote a letter explaining what was happening, why it was happening, and what they could do to help the girls transition. It really helped!

Anyone navigating foster care or adoption for the first time, I would strongly suggest writing a letter to help friends and family understand what is happening. Take as much time as your new family needs to bond with each other alone. It is super important and only YOU can know how much time you need to accumulate and when your new kiddos will be ready.

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Adoption Blog

Following the Call #14 – Transitioning Home

I HATE rollercoasters. They make me nauseous, super dizzy, and I feel sick for the rest of the day. I don’t fear them, and I’ve never been afraid of heights. But I don’t understand why people like that… “my stomach is falling out of my body” feeling.

To me, emotional rollercoasters are pretty much the same as an actual roller coaster. I’m nauseous, dizzy, sick for the duration and a while after, and I don’t particularly like the falling feeling my stomach keeps performing. BUT that is precisely what we were on for the next three weeks.

It was intense and insane. I lived half of the time up north, getting to know the girls, and the other half of the time I was at school getting my classroom ready for the teacher that was taking my place. “Surreal” is the best way I can describe how I felt. On the weekends I was a mom (and a brand NEW mom at that) and during the week I was living my same-old regular life. Every night we FaceTimed the girls to talk to them and countdown the days until we would see them again.

The transitioning stage varies depending on how far away the child(ren) is/are. Since we were so far away we traveled a lot. Luke had to work, and I really wanted to set up my classroom, because I had given the incoming teacher so little time to get ready. For some families that are in the same town or close by it can occur more quickly. It can also be more gradual in learning to become a family.

The Friday night after we met the girls, we headed back up north, in two cars, for our second visit with the girls. The social workers wanted us to spend increasingly more time with the girls, but Luke needed to keep working. (Isn’t it fun, being an adult?) We wanted him to have some time-off leftover when the girls permanently moved home with us. So the plan was for me to stay with the girls longer while he went back home to work.

I was scared. On top of the fact that I was staying by myself on like my fifth day being a mom to three toddlers, we were also doing overnight visits. Saturday morning, we went and picked up the girls from their foster family and took them back with us to Luke’s aunt and uncle’s apartment. It was a rough night. Luke and I didn’t sleep at all because we could hear every breath and movement each child made.

Sunday, we had a visit with the foster family and the girls’ adoption specialist. I thought it would go terribly and the girls would want to go home with them, but God had it under control. Everyone was fine. Then, at dinnertime Luke headed back home. For two nights I was on my own, and it was a little terrifying, but it went really well. Considering I was a new mom, had three toddlers, was in a town I didn’t know at all, and I had to find ways to entertain and contain them, I was doing well.

I also had my first experience with rude judgmental people. I had no idea that people would assume negative things about my children, and me simply because they didn’t look like each other or me. Or that they would announce these rude things so loudly and in front of my children. By the grace of God, I stayed calm (and I really don’t say that lightly). I could’ve easily ripped someone’s head off in that angry mama bear moment. But instead, I icily responded and diffused the situation.

Tuesday, I dropped my sweet girls off at their foster family and promised to be back very soon. My littlest one was quite upset at me. It broke my heart. She wouldn’t even say bye to me or look at me.

On the following Friday, I drove to the halfway point between our house and the foster family’s to pick up the girls. This time they got to come home with me and spend a four-day weekend with us. We had wonderful time. For the first time, our home life met with our new life. We went to the zoo and explored what it meant to be a family of five. Along with the fun and joy we got to experience the trauma our girls had been through.

Although the foster family, Luke, and I agreed the back and forth was getting to be too much and too hard on the girls, the adoption specialist did not. We were required to send them back to the foster family one last time. The girls went back on Tuesday, and that Friday morning we picked them up with all of their belongings (they had a ton, which isn’t always the case) and FINALLY headed home to stay.

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Adoption Blog

Following the Call #13 – Meeting our Girls

Pictures from our that first meeting.

“I’m gonna puke. I’m gonna puke,” chanted over and over in my head. I also said it out loud over and over to Luke and may have even texted it several times to a few friends and family members.

We were in the car on the way to meet them–our children–our daughters. How does one prepare for something so monumental? Apparently, in my case, by chanting about how nauseous I was and insisting that Luke continue to pray. “No no, babe, stop talking, just pray…I can’t talk to you right now, I’m trying not to barf,” was something along the lines of the dialog in the truck that day.

After our 45 minute drive to the town they lived, we continued to drive. We drove by the house one time and then drove all over the tiny town, because, we were, of course, ridiculously early. Luke and I thought it was a good idea to orient ourselves to the town we would be spending lots of time in, and we didn’t think we were allowed to show up early. However, the first thing the social worker said to us as we pulled up right behind her right at 10:00AM on the dot was, “Oh you all are just getting here? Usually the adoptive parents can’t handle the wait and are already inside playing with the kids when I show up”. In my head I screamed, “We could have done that?!

“Mommy!”

Walking into the house, everything happened in slow-motion. Two of our girls ran to us, excited to meet us, and ready to play. They had already seen a video and pictures of Luke and me. We made a video of our home, their future rooms, and our dogs so they would know what to expect. They recognized us immediately. The social worker had introduced us, in the video, as their new mommy and daddy. So that is what they shouted at us as we walked in the door. It was shocking, overwhelming, and amazing all at the same time. I remember so vividly, Luke and I looking at each other in ecstatic amazement at being called those named we’d longed to hear. We picked them up and hugged them, letting them then drag us wherever they wanted.

Sitting quietly on the couch, sat the child I was so afraid wouldn’t like me. I slowly walked over and asked if I could sit next to her. Surprisingly she said yes. I carefully sat next to her, not wanting to scare her away. In next moment, time stopped, and that tiny little girl scooted right beside me, cuddling up against me.

This was the same little girl that didn’t even look at people she’d known for a long time and absolutely didn’t let people touch her. I very clearly felt all the tension and anxiety ooze right out of the bottom of my feet, and I heard God say in the most gentle and loving way, He planned this so please stop worrying. Hours flew by as we played with the girls. The social worker was shocked and amazed. Right then and there our 4 week plan turned into a 3 week plan.

Pictures from our that first meeting.

 

 

At naptime it was time to part with the girls, but their amazing foster family invited us back over after the girls woke up. They were so welcoming and helpful. The next day, we got to pick up the girls and take them on our first unsupervised outing to breakfast, the park, and lunch. Then, we sadly packed up the car and headed back home leaving our sweet girls behind. Our hearts were so filled with joy, but now three little pieces were missing.

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Adoption

Following the Call #12 – Logistics and Blessings

 

The night before we met our children, we traveled three hours north to prepare. Part of preparing for our meeting was preparing a backpack full of activities for the girls, special photo albums of us and our live, and a special stuffed animal for each of the girls.

God’s plan is always so interesting to watch unfold and such a huge blessing. I often found my breath taken away as another one of His miracles, whether big or small, was revealed. Luke and I had no idea that we would be preparing to bring home children so quickly, so many, or from so far away. We saved and prepared our home as much as we could for two children, not knowing their ages. Our family and friends blessed us with a gift card shower.

Now, traveling once to a location a few hours away would be no big deal, right? But that is not what we were doing. The social workers came up with a four-week plan to transition the girls to our home. It was made very clear that the more time we spent with them the easier the transition would be. They wanted us there on the weekends and during the week, increasing each stay as we went along. During our classes, we learned if our children were from out of the county, there would be traveling involved and a period of transition. I don’t think we imagined it would mean a month of traveling, though.

This meant that we needed a place to stay on and off for the next few weeks. First, we looked into staying at a hotel. The area wasn’t great, and the decent hotels were pretty outrageous in price, at least for stays up to four days at a time. I began to panic. Ya know, I sometimes wonder what God’s reaction is to my panic and worry. Does He laugh? Shake His head? Get frustrated as I imagine I would, or does He repeatedly whisper, “My dear sweet daughter, I have this under control.”?

Luke and I were both unfamiliar with the area, so we didn’t immediately realize that his aunt and uncle lived 45 minutes away from where the girls were. His aunt and uncle live in a beautiful home that just happens to have a full one bedroom apartment attached to it. They were more than happy to let us use it as we saw fit for the next 3ish weeks.

It was a huge blessing, especially for me, as I have a habit of being quite terrified of hotels. Bugs. Yuck. Luke doesn’t put any of our luggage down when we travel until I have thoroughly inspected the hotel room, because my anxiety is on high alert. So, having this apartment was a HUGE financial saving grace. It helped me not to freak out over bugs. It also meant we didn’t have to check-in and out of hotels for three weeks and later would prove very useful with three kids! We were beyond grateful.

His provisions only continued during this time. As I look back, I remember feeling like we were constantly surrounded by reassurances that this was His plan. We were walking in His will. These were our children and He had everything under control. Another blessing I vividly remember was Luke’s brother and sister-in-law buying us a car seat. That was huge, because we needed THREE of those things!!! Car seat laws are no joke, my friend, and of course, with good reason. Luke’s boss was also extremely understanding, flexible, and blessed us immensely during this time.

I cannot even come close to listing all of the blessings we received during this time. Our cups overflowed with blessing.

Along with financial and logistical concerns, I heard the words of the adoption specialist repeated over and over in my head as we waited the rest of the week to meet our girls. She told us at our disclosure meeting that one of our children was extremely introverted, refused to look at or have any interactions with anyone other than the foster parents.  The social workers would be looking to her to decide when the girls could come home with us. This meant if she did not feel comfortable with us after four weeks, the timeframe would be extended and extended until she was ready. This child hadn’t even acknowledged or made eye contact with the social worker she’d being meeting with for over a year. She struggled to connect.

To put it lightly, I was nervous. Could she connect with us? Would she like us? Would she like me?

 

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Adoption

Following the Call #11 – Disclosure Meeting

I remember exactly where I was when I got the phone call, it was Friday, July 29th.

Babysitting, I was standing in the hallway of the Beerys’ house trying to make sure their oldest son was taking a nap. I couldn’t scream or cheer for joy because two little ones were napping or trying to. So I paced. Paced as Jessica gave me the details and promised to email me more. Then I, of course, called Luke. We were excited, scared, shocked, happy, so happy, and pretty much any and all emotions you could imagine. Did I mention happy? We were parents! Luke and I wanted kids for so long, but were waiting for just the right time, God’s timing. And here it was, the perfect time. Our hearts were overflowing.

Of course all of that excitement and thrill led up to more waiting, but we didn’t have much time to sit around and worry about it. We had to get our house ready for three children. Up to this point, we had only prepared for two, so we needed another bed, three car seats, to switch our guest room into a kid’s room, and a TON more. Not to mention tell our families and friends!

How we told our parents!

In foster adoption, when you are matched with a child/children, you then have a disclosure meeting. During the meeting, everything that is known about the children, the situation that brought them to foster care, and the current state of the case are divulged to you. You are then given 24-48 hours to decide if you would like to move forward with placement.

Our disclosure meeting was scheduled for a week later, Monday, August 8th Our social worker, the girls’ social worker, and the adoption specialist attended this meeting. It was rough, to say the least. Our girls had been through a lot, more than most of us go through in a lifetime. We sat there as the social workers read every terrible thing that was known to happen to our soon-to-be children. I cried. Wanting to hide it, because I didn’t know these social workers. I did not want them to think I couldn’t handle it. Ultimately, they might change their minds. It was so awful. There were things in this meeting that made me question whether we could handle the suffering they had endured. God, were we really the right parents for these sweet, heartbroken children? I didn’t know, but I knew He held them in His hand.

When they finished sharing all the information, and we asked all the questions we could think of, (I definitely had a list of questions I had prepared beforehand) we got to call the foster mom that was caring for the girls and ask her a ton of questions.

Luke and I then decided to go in the other room and discuss our decision. I voiced my small concerns, we decided right then and there, and then we returned to the waiting social workers.

We said YES.

Not a moment later, we asked when we could meet them. I was not about to let these three women leave my house before I had a firm date as to when we could meet our children, being ever the persistent one. With much pushing, prodding, and some very serious insisting Luke and I convinced them that we could not possibly waiting any longer than the upcoming weekend.   (I should note here that our girls were from a city over 3 hours away. This largely affected meeting the girls, visiting them, and transitioning them to our home.)  Then and there, it was decided that we would meet our future daughters on Saturday, August 13th.

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Adoption

Following the Call #10 – Waiting for a Decision

Bye Bye Classroom

We waited two weeks and two days to find out.

I think I have already made it very clear how I feel about waiting, and up until this point, I really had no clue what real waiting felt like. This time the waiting wasn’t to check off a box, move forward towards the next step of the process, or to meet some arbitrary deadline I had set in my head. This time we waited for an answer to our life being radically changed. The biggest, most exciting, and terrifying change either of us had ever known. Would we be parents to three little girls all at once, or would we go on waiting for the next call?

During this time a lot was happening. We prayed fervently for these little ones. Although we desperately wanted to be chosen, we also decided to pray for the “perfect” family for these three. We wanted whatever was best for them and whatever would bring them to know Jesus. Our family and friends joined us in praying; we could feel the prayers surrounding us.

Yet another huge decision had to be made.  It was also quite terrifying, in it’s own right. Should I quit my job? The adoption specialist was looking for a family that had a parent who could stay home. Luke and I had decided that I was going to stay home when we had/were placed with kids.

BUT time was running out, and school was about to start. I had a very short time before I was supposed to report back to school for “Beginning of the Year Meetings” and to prep my classroom. I was beyond nervous to make this decision. We couldn’t completely afford it. I had applied to work at an online school, so I could work from home. However, this school was notorious for waiting until the very last minute to hire, so that they could see what enrollment numbers would be. My interview was very promising. I thought I might eventually get an offer, but could I quit my job on that hope? Especially not knowing whether or not we would be chosen for these girls.

A dear friend and I decided to fast for a short time for various reasons. One of the things I decided to pray about was the decision to quit, during those prayers I felt God say, “Trust me. Quit.”

Angrily, I countered with, “But first, tell me if we are getting the girls.”

To which, I again heard, “Trust me.”

(I should add here that Luke had been telling me to quit since the end of the last school year.)

I rather grumpily conceded and with the attitude of, “Fine, I’ll text my principal now.”

Bye Bye Classroom

Wouldn’t you know it, not two days later, we got THE CALL.

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Adoption

Following the Call #9 – Certifiably Crazy

When I looked at the phone and saw the Koinonia phone number, I thought Jessica must have finished that last section of paperwork a day early.

There are stories about what was about to take place, but this kind of stuff happens to other people, right?! I was not prepared for what came next. We were NOT certified yet. We were still supposed to be waiting at least three more weeks and waiting was the name of this game, wasn’t it? I mean, we’d spent much of the last seven months…waiting. I was prepared for waiting for the first time. Yet God had other plans.

Jessica wasn’t calling to tell me that she was done. She was calling to tell me we were one of “those people”. The people that for some reason are called BEFORE they are even certified. (Here, I need to make a side note. I fully believe that everyone in this process will get matched/placement, when God has found the child or children that you are meant to be parents to. In some cases that may be parenting those children for a short time and other times it will end in adoption, but either way waiting a minute or two years is waiting, no matter, how excruciating, for your child(ren).)

She told me that she just got an email about THREE little girls that she thought would be perfect for Luke and I. I just about fainted. Three kids at once… and before we were even done being certified. The girls were 1, 3 (actually she was 2 at the time, but would be three by the time we met her), and 4.

Were we interested, she asked??? “Um I have to call Luke,” was my response. What else could I say? Luke had given me authority to say yes and no as I pleased, but we didn’t know calls were going to come so soon (it can take months or even years to be matched). And we had said we would take up to three children, but were we sure? I surely wasn’t at that moment, zero to three is a big jump, crazy if you will. Could we handle three children? Were we ready and able to parent that many kids? Jessica, said she would email me the details on the girls and to call her back ASAP because it is VERY important to get your name in right away.

Now I will let you in on something I did not know when we entered into this process. Your yes does not mean you get the child/children. When you say yes to a child or children, your home study is then placed into the ‘yes’ pile. Social workers typically take 20-40 home studies. This is why you want to say yes quickly. If you take too long, they will not accept your home study. The social worker then narrows it down from there. Therefore, it is possible to say yes to many children and not be placed with any of them. This usually happens with the matching process, but less often if you are doing foster care only.

So I called Luke. He almost had a heart attack.

We prayed, and called Jessica back with a YES!

And then the whole waiting part of this journey was over and everything went speedy fast from there.

 

HAHA, Just kidding. Nope. Next, we waited weeks for the adoption specialist to pick a family for these sweet girls. This would be the longest and most difficult emotional waiting we would do so far. Would it be us?

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Adoption

Following the Call #8 – Getting Certified

There happens to be a lot of work to do in each stage of the fost/adopt process, except in this stage. It literally consists of waiting, and at the very end of the waiting, reading over all the paperwork, signing it, and then waiting some more for certification. What is actually happening during this waiting period is your social worker is doing a TON of paperwork. She is writing a GIANT report on all things YOU, and why you would be an awesome parent. So make sure you thank your social worker, because who really likes to write reports?

While we waited to be certified, we decided to have some fun! Luke and I took our first international trip together to Belize. Luke’s parents moved in with us for a few weeks while their house was being finished up, we hosted our first Fourth of July party, and we had our first adoption shower!

This is the view from our amazing hotel, Costa Blu. We absolutely LOVED our hotel, all the Belizean’s we met, and our whole experience in Belize. It made waiting a LOT easier.

The amazing hotel pool!
Floating down a snake filled cave and river.
The Mayan temples.

The weekend we got home we threw a Fourth of July party and then the next weekend we were given our first adoption shower! Which was such a huge blessing! Thank you Kati, Haylie, and everyone that came. Clearly we were trying to stay busy…or kill ourselves.

A couple of days after our shower, on a Monday, we had our meeting with Jessica to proofread the giant report. She had finished our paperwork. It was time to sign. Luke and I went into her office, and the three of us together went through her report with a fine-toothed comb. We read and Jessica put the corrections into the computer as we went along. It took quite a bit of time, but we got the report corrected and signed. The plan was to go back on Thursday to sign a section that we didn’t get to.

After signing the completed document, it would then be submitted to fact-checking. Once approved and corrected, it would be sent to Jessica’s supervisor who would read over it and then certify us. That process usually takes about three weeks, we were told.

But we never made it to Thursday….on Wednesday, July 13th we got a shocking phone call.

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Adoption Blog

Following the Call #7 – Finally, the Home Study!

God is really serious about teaching me about waiting for His timing. Like, really serious. I was again waiting, waiting, and waiting for our last step, the home study. As I mentioned in my last post,  literally waiting in the waiting room at my doctor’s office. If that doesn’t say WAIT, I don’t know what does.

Once that last piece of paper was turned in, we were told we would have to finish those last three classes before we could begin that last step. But we had an unexpected blessing and the agency allowed us to start the home study process while taking the classes because we had turned everything else in! I was so pumped (particularly about NOT having to wait) and it made getting that last piece of paper even more pressing.

Our agency assigned us a social worker, Jessica, and we could not be more blessed to have her! We scheduled our first home study session as soon as she had a free moment. The home study process consisted of three visits including interviews and the inspection of our home. Remember all of that paperwork we had to do way back at the beginning? Well that came back to haunt us (wink, wink).

In our first session, Luke and I had an interview with Jessica at our home. We talked through the first packet and went over general life information together. It wasn’t invasive or uncomfortable. That interview lasted about an hour to an hour and half. I would say it was a nice time (at least for us) of Jessica getting to know us and who we are as a couple.

In my head I was planning out when we would have each session and I wanted it to be every other week. I probably bugged Jessica a bit during this process, trying to schedule these meetings, but she is so nice I doubt she’d say if I did! I was racing a clock in my head all the time! It was crazyville. Very shortly after our first interview we had our second. This one was a LOT more awkward and my overshare-r came right on out. In that meeting, we had individual interviews with Jessica and went over the dreaded Packet Two. Jessica made it as painless as possible. She was very easy to talk to. My individual interview was almost twice as long as Luke’s, as expected, at least by me!

The last session of the homestudy includes the social worker confirming she has all the information she needs and checking the house to make sure it meets all of the laws and requirements. This includes things like: having a fire extinguisher, locking up all cleaning supplies, hazardous materials, and medications, having a first aid kit, baby/toddler proofing (if you are taking this age group), working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, and having rooms prepped for children (more info on this later). If you have a pool or two story there are added requirements. This isn’t an exhaustive list…I’m sure I am missing things.

Side note: Don’t stress by thinking, “what if something is missed or forgotten!?” Not to worry! While we were still in the paperwork and classes stage, our agency sent out Barb, an amazing helpful woman, who went through our home with fine tooth comb. She told us all the things we needed to do. So we had a much, much smaller list of things to accomplish, and we knew exactly what we needed to do before the home study.

We prepared the room with a twin and a crib because we imagined we would probably be getting siblings. We were open to a sibling set. P.S. if you are willing to take children ages two and under you are required to have a crib ready to go.

Once Jessica went through our house and checked off all of the things on her list, we were DONE! Our part was complete. We turned in every paper, checked off every box, completed every class and interview.

All we had to do was… you guessed it WAIT.

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Adoption

Following the Call #6 – Back to School We Go

Throughout the last 6 years, I have watched many of my friends and family experience the joy of becoming parents. Not even one, felt like they had it all together or knew what they were doing. The phrase I remember most, and to be honest dislike was, “You just can’t fully grasp what it is to be a parent until you are one”. And I knew it was true.

My career has been working with children, from teaching Sunday school to running after-school programs with at-risk youth to becoming a teacher and now a parent of children who have experienced trauma. It was and is my best career choice. I have a degree in psychology and a good portion of that degree are child development classes. I even studied and wrote papers on attachment theory in foster and adopted children. The list could go on and on of why I think I am so prepared for becoming a parent, especially an adoptive or foster parent. I’m sure all of those things were great things to do, but in the end they don’t actually matter. A person that did none of those things still would end up in the same, “You just can’t fully grasp what it is to be a parent until you are one” circumstance.

Our adoption agency knows that truth, and prepped us for it. Thankfully they did not just leave us there to ponder our inadequacies. They prepped us with great classes that gave us practical knowledge of what to do when you finally realize you know NOTHING. We took five classes and each class focused on something different.

 

The first class was orientation. It gave an introduction to our agency and what it means to foster/adopt from the foster care system. Helpful Hint: many people suggest going to multiple orientations for different agencies to see which one is the best fit for you. It is a very helpful class for understanding the basics of the process, feeling comfortable with the system, and shows if the agency is a good fit.

Next we took a safe sleep class. It focused on safe sleeping conditions, babies that have experienced drugs and alcohol in the womb, and shaken baby syndrome. The class was emotionally difficult to sit through, but helpful and informative…and just a tiny bit repetitive. We also did a CPR and first aid class. Part of the class was online and part in person, like many CPR classes.

The other two classes were called Child Focused and Parent Focused training. I found these classes to be very helpful. We were given good information in the child focused class on how to treat and interact with children of trauma. Discipline and attachment were major areas of focus as well. It also gave us the perspective of a child going through the system, which is heartbreaking. In the parent focused training, we discussed the emotions we could experience and positive ways to deal with them.

One thing I did not expect to take away from this training was seeing things through the eyes of the biological parents. Creating compassion and understanding in a place where I honestly struggled to feel any. In both trainings we were able to discuss interracial adoption and the implication for children and families. It really gave us the opportunity to research and discuss how to best honor children from a different race or culture.

Overall the classes were extremely beneficial. Although they can seem long and sometimes repetitive, the information I walked away with was more helpful than anything else. It also was a great starting point for my own research in parenting children of trauma.

Once we finished the paperwork and classes, we only had one step left to becoming certified…the home study!