faithfulness – Trusting In The Dark

I just wanted to do a quick update on what has happened in August in the land of paying off student loans. Since we paid off a student loan in June, we saved up and made a $5,000 payment and with the government APLE program I am in (teaching at a low-income school) another $3,000 payment was made…such a huge blessing! So overall last month we paid over $8,500, including our monthly payments.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!

Just to clarify a little, we have two loans left. One is a private student loan that now totals, after our August payments, about $28,000 and then we have a federal student loan totaling about $28,000, as well. We are focusing on paying off the private student loan because the APLE program I am enrolled in and most government loan forgiveness programs only pay on federal loans. So each year that I teach I can receive more loan forgiveness on the federal loan, hence why we are focusing on the private loan. The $5,000 went to the private loan and the $3,000 went to the federal loan.

Anyway I have to say, since we moved forward with building a house, are preparing to make the down payment, and made the list of things we actually ~~need~~…kind’ve need…might be necessary… maybe we just really want to buy for the house (a refrigerator is actually necessary right?), I was certainly worried that we would slow down in paying down this debt. But I am so thankful to say that God has kept us on the right track and helped us to stay focused ~~mostly~~ on continuing to pay down the debt. We are using our Apple stock and a couple other investments to make our down payment and we are so grateful that the money we have from these investments almost perfectly covers what we need to make the payment. God has also sent some other jobs for Luke (poor guy…he works hard to provide for us!) that have made it possible to do the couple of things we have deemed necessary to move into our house. So we have had to use very little of our money that would go to paying down student loans for anything house related!

We are continually amazed, surprised, and ultimately grateful at what God is doing in our lives and how faithful He has been in paying off this debt, providing a house, a new job for Luke, and more importantly growing my faith and trust in Him. My heart has started to turn from a constant need to be reminded that God is faithful, to a slow steady thought process that speaks of His faithfulness. It has been a beautiful melody to my soul and a soothing salve over the anxiety, fear, and doubt that can cloud my heart. I looked forward to what He will do next in my heart and with this debt.

On a totally separate note, please let me encourage you to be a prayer warrior for yourself, your family and friends, and anyone around you. In my life I have noticed more and more lately that there are so many people around me that are struggling, hurting, and just in need of prayer. Please look for those people in your life and lift them up. My heart is so heavy seeing the illnesses, hurt, and pain of all those around me, so let’s be a community that lifts each other up in prayer to the One who can bring healing, peace, and joy.

This month has been a roller coaster ride and if you know me, you might know I am NOT a fan of roller coasters! Mainly because I have massive motion sickness problems, but also because I don’t have any idea why people like that feeling in your stomach when you go down a big drop…crazies! Likewise I’m not a huge fan of things not going the way I planned and this month has been anything, but according to plan…which I can now honestly say I’m thankful for!

It started with us thinking that we wouldn’t be able to pay any extra on our debt this month because of some expected and unexpected expenses, read more about that here. That was definitely NOT according to my plan! I was pretty bummed out at first, but I decided that God is faithful even if we don’t have the money to pay extra on the loans this month…through His mercy and grace I was able to believe that it was an opportunity for God to reveal His glory even more. During this conversation with God (the process of going from bummed out to believing God is still faithful despite circumstance), I asked in a pondering sort of way, if He planned to use miracles to pay off any of this debt or if it was going to be more of a faithfully chipping away at the debt a little at a time, over time. I’m not sure if it was even a direct question that I expected an answer to…the best way I can describe it is a pondering of how the Lord would work in this situation. Over time I was sure to get His answer, but I never expected it to come so soon or so clearly.

The next day, not thinking anything of our previous conversation I stumbled upon His answer. It was clear and directly an answer to my pondering. A card with my name on the front in my box…I opened it without a second thought (maybe a baby or bridal shower invite, a thank you card, a note from a student or a fellow teacher), but in this envelope was so much more than I ever expected. It was a miracle, an answer from the Lord in my hands! I can’t ever remember an answer to a prayer being so specifically answered, especially for something I frequently consider my fault, my problem, my mess and silly or even frivolous to even bring up to others (good thing the Lord has other plans or else this blog wouldn’t even be here sharing this miracle :/). Now that I have effectively built up suspense… in the envelope was this beautiful card with $200 dollars inside.

Everything about this card was perfect. I absolutely LOVE what it says “If we could see it all… we would be amazed at what God has planned for us! Believing with you for God’s best!” WOW! talk about an answer to prayer and what a blessing to get a donation to help with our debt! He spoke right to me through this wonderfully amazing faithful person! I was so overwhelmed by this miracle I instantly started balling hysterically and Face Timed Luke, who thought I was dying hehehe…I guess joyful tears don’t look that different from “I’m dying” tears via Face Time. I was very overcome and couldn’t really speak, I’m what you would call an emotional person, so I just showed him the card. We both just marveled over God’s faithfulness and this amazing person’s obedience and love. I still can’t get over it. I’m teary-eyed now. I am so very very thankful that you answered His call and showed me your love and His answer to my little pondering. Thank you my dear dear anonymous card giver!!! You are so very special to my heart! I appreciate you more than words can ever express. This most certainly helps with our “March Madness”!!!

I wanted to start this blog to record the Lord’s faithfulness. So that I could look back at the end of this year and see all of the amazing things He has done for me (even though He has no need to do so other than He loves me personally). This one miracle makes the whole blog for me. It is now worth continuously coming back and marveling at the glorious God we serve.

But He did not stop there…our taxes were surprisingly a few hundred dollars less than we were originally told and somehow our estimates for refilling our emergency fund and paying for the car to be fixed were off. To be honest, I still really don’t understand how the numbers worked the way they did, we were quite diligent in preparing for how much we needed to spend this month. And yet we have around $1,200 extra to put towards the student loans this month. The Lord just keeps on surprising me with His faithfulness! Thank you Lord!!! And thank you again to my miracle giver!

Can’t wait to see what else the Lord has in store and I am so happy to have you on this journey with me! Thank you for reading!! Please continue praying with us for trust and faith in the Lord and funds to wipe out this debt for good!!! And if you need some prayer, please feel free to put it in the comment section! Let’s pray for each other!